Where Am I?

It is 24°F outside, there is 4 – 5 inches of snow outside, the power has been out for 2 hours, and I’m bored. There can’t possibly be a better night to write a blog than this.

Have you ever been in the middle of nowhere? Recently I’ve been going through ‘levels’ of things and my friends thinks it’s funny. We are talking levels of tiredness, anger, jokes…and tonight I will tell you about my different experiences in isolation. Right now I’m pretty alone. I’d say that my family in Boston is asleep since it’s midnight. The snow makes it difficult to go anywhere since New Mexico road crews aren’t willing to plow anything at night. I’ve come up with 5 levels of isolation (technically 6) and I will go through them all.

I’ve been on a lot of adventures since my last post so I think it’s safe to say that I know what I’m talking about. Recently I went to Bryce Canyon National Park on October 23rd. Bryce Canyon falls under level 1 of my 5 levels of isolation. Being at iso level 1 means that you are close to people. This essentially means that you can walk outside and there’s a 95% chance you will see someone nice. There’s also an easy selection of food. The national park has food options itself, but if you get bored of fresh food you can hit the gas station next to the park. This will supply you with ultra processed junk food that is advertised. This brings us to the next point. Gas! You need to fill up your car every once and again so at isolation 1 there has to be a pump within 15 -20 miles of your car. Another place that I’ve been that is an isolation 1 is Hamilton College in New York. I’ve said many of times that’s in the middle of nowhere. It’s more at the bottom of the spectrum. Next point is it needs to be near a repair shop. I’ve had car troubles a bunch of times and it’s vital to be able to not rely on smoke signals to get help. At isolation 1 we are looking at a sketchy Walmart repair shop, maybe a 4-5 star tire shop in town, or possibly a dealership. At the Grand Canyon if you get a flat tire or need an oil change it’s not a big deal. (Just drive somewhere close to get oil). I’m sure that people nearby can assist for some cash or smiles. I’d say that being at Acadia is definitely the most minimal level of nowhere. You are on an island and indeed some parts would be tough to get help from, but most of the time you can just go to Bar Harbor and do whatever you want. I have the plans for a Maine blog ready, but no motivation to write it at the moment. This brings me to the next point: entertainment. In iso level 1 you must have good – excellent cell service and more than 7 radio stations that aren’t country. Car Henge in Nebraska would count since I had pretty great cell service, lots of food choices, decent repair options, in a relatively big ‘in the middle of nowhere’ town, and it sported some cool attractions. Moving on, we have now reached the next level.

So this might get pretty repetitive so I’m just going to list the requirements. At isolation level 2 you have to be sort of near people, there has to be at least 1 fast food option or a local establishment with burgers, good cell service/at least 5 radio stations that aren’t country, a gas station within 35 miles, and a repair spot that’s sort of far unless you have a real bad problem. In June I went to Mount Rushmore with my friend Ethan and on the way we stopped in Montana briefly to get a picture with the sign. Have you ever been to Montana on your days off at Philmont? I have! I’d say this is pretty far from civilization in terms of cool things to see, but the drive was pretty great. There is a town right across the border which meets most driver needs. Another spot that fits this level is Carlsbad Caverns. There is a town nearby, but if you get stuck in the parking lot that is an issue. Also I was like 6 hours from Philmont in the middle of the New Mexican plains sooooo that was exciting. We did the Left Hand tour, but we can talk about that some other time. It wasn’t as cold as Jewel Caves so you get to see me in yet again the infamous red shorts. After a pretty lengthy drive through the wasteland of southern New Mexico you get to west West Texas. The super west if you will. The land of nothing. Have you ever been skiing? I’d say that’s at an isolation 2 because there’s plenty of food and mental enrichment nearby, but if you break your leg in the middle of the woods skiing you are on your own. Lastly the town I was in when I went to Capitol Reef NP in Utah was Torrey, Utah. I had 0 cell service at my hotel, there wasn’t any reliable repair nearby so triple a would do (I could use the hotel phone), and there was a fabulous burger joint in town (Slackers) instead of the typical McDonalds run. I will save the pictures from Capitol Reef until another day just to torture those of you who haven’t seen them.

Level 3 isolation is where things start getting intense. In order to be at a level 3 the only people you see will be on the highway or in small towns/ villages. Repair is either an expensive tow truck, a YouTube video, or a knowledgeable friend. We are looking at poor cell service here. I’m currently using WordPress with Verizon extended 3g. This means I can do almost anything *except* stream and download/upload stuff. I will upload this with fingers crossed. For gas you might be stuck with a sketchy local one. If the gas station is closed you are looking at at least a 30 minute drive to the next one. Philmont is at iso level 3 in my humble opinion. There is no fast food surprise surprise. It’s pretty far from literally everything. Closest airport? 220miles. That’s like traveling from Aarida, Lebanon to Naquoura, Lebanon and back in one drive. (For context I have a friend from Lebanon in my game and I was explaining the insane distances I travel for stuff here in New Mexico.) Imagine you are at Philmont and you want to see a movie. That’s a cool 40ish mile drive in the middle of nowhere (level 3). Ok I think you get the point. Going from Capitol Reef to Grand Junction Colorado via US24 and I70 east is pretty far from everything. This picture was taken off the highway at Goblin Valley State Park. It’s flat here and there’s not many people driving here. To get to Bryce Canyon I drove from 9pm – 10am and part of the drive was on US550 New Mexico. Wow it was cold! I saw more animals than people on that portion of the drive. Fort Larned also makes the cut since it’s at the outer edge of the Kansas Triangle. We will get to that later.

Isolation level 4 is pretty intense. Most of my adventures are in this level. Here you are one of the only cars on the road and it’s pretty risky to drive at night or in bad weather, which means it would be bad luck if you broke down. This Mesa at the Badlands National Park in South Dakota is one of those spots it would be unfortunate to get into an accident. In iso level 4, reliable repair is unthinkably far. Also you have no cell service and the closest helpful town/village is a cool 50 – 75 mile drive. There probably isn’t fast food and finding a convenience store is harder than spotting Waldo. I’ve found that the farther away from stuff you are the more beautiful the landscape is. That’s not always the case as seen in this shot of the boring east edge of Colorado. Can you spot the only tree? If it rained I would’ve been in a tight situation as the road will be mud. The logging road to the Appalachian trailhead near Mt. Katahdin also makes this list. Delhi, Co is literally an abandoned gas station and a few sketchy houses. This is me on my way to the Golden Throne in Capitol Reef NP. I was the only one on the trail. It was pretty spooky since I thought a mountain lion was fallowing me. If you don’t know, the Golden Throne trail starts near the Capitol Gorge Trail, which is 12.5 miles away from the visitors center via a rough dirt road and a 10 mile scenic drive. Car breaks down here and it’s a massive hassle to get it out. Run out of food? You basically starve until you can make it back to ten visitors center or Torrey. Have you ever flown in an airplane? Ah Boston, so close, but yet so far. You are pretty alone in my opinion. Despite being in a container of 200+ people you are stuck with no cell service, no chance of in-flight repair, crappy food, and lots of clouds.

The moment you’ve all been waiting for! Isolation Level 5! This is the most extreme part of the middle of nowhere. It’s basically just you and whatever you take with you. If you are going to Mt. Sunflower in Kansas you should make sure you pack a lunch. I drove for about 70 miles on a bunch of boring farming roads to reach the highest point in Kansas. Iso 5 is definitely a place to avoid driving at night. A maze of dirt farming roads in an unfamiliar section of Kansas with no cell service or gps at night? No thanks! Generally for repair it’s just you. This year I bought an engine diagnostic scanner so that if my car gets the terrifying engine light of misfortune I can see what’s actually wrong. Gas could be pretty far. We are talking 100mi away or more. When my family went to Iceland we got to take a Jeep tour up a volcano. I’d say that’s pretty far off the beaten path. On the way back from Utah I drove all night through the mountains of southern Colorado. I think that at night what would be a level 4 isolation becomes a level 5 because everything is now closed and there is no people. Skydiving is pretty high on this list. Haha get it? 😉 I got to go in 2018 after I got my car. It was super exciting and I would definitely go again. Another non-driving related middle of nowhere adventure is hiking down Mt. Katahdin. Have you ever gotten tired of carrying your backpacking pack so you stash it halfway up the mountain to make climbing easier? I have! That’s me in the picture. My backpack is right before the bottom of this ridge. I put it on the other side of some rocks and just hoped no one would take it. Hiking up the Baldy firebreak also takes the cake on this one. It was pretty out there and it started raining! There was fog and hail at the top. Not as chill as Katahdin. This is at the bottom of the rocky part of the super straight up trail from Baldy Town.

So there you have it. All 5 levels of isolation. But wait! There’s more! Level 6 is what I refer to as the true middle of nowhere. This is the house that courage the cowardly dog lives in. This is you on a sailboat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. This is you on the train from Raton to Albuquerque when there’s ‘high wind’. Level 6 follows the same requirements as level 5 *except* there’s generally nothing of beauty to see. The Kansas Triangle is something (I made up) I’ve mentioned a few times now. It’s anywhere between Garden City, Colby, and Great Bend. There’s not a whole lot of nice things here. This ‘shortcut’ from High Rolls to Cloudcroft New Mexico is on a rough back country 10% grade road. It’s about 10 miles long and the GPS said it was the fastest route. I was going to the National Solar observatory. The drive from Guadeloupe National Park to McDonald observatory via US10 and then US118 was exceptionally far from literally everything. There were signs saying the road would flood up to 5ft every 5-10 miles or so. I really didn’t want to get stuck in it so I was flying. It rained on US118 and I honestly was a little nervous. If I’m concerned about the weather when driving you definitely should be. Luckily I was the only one who noticed when we hydroplaned. Anyways, let’s wrap this up.

I wrote about this so in future blogs I could drop a ‘I went through the middle of nowhere’ without having to explain myself. That’s about all I have to say. Bye!

The new record for driving with a spare tire is 220 miles. Beat that!

Recently I’ve started upping the distance of my drives. I’ve now been to: Colorado, Texas, Arizona, Utah, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Oklahoma, Missouri, Montana, and almost all of New Mexico while based at Philmont. I have 3 drafts in the works and many more stories to tell. See you next time!